Going solo: the bit travellers don’t talk about…

I once read that travelling solo is the truest form of freedom. You see more, feel more, your senses are in overdrive because this trip is tailored exactly the way you dreamed. Whilst I can vouch for this, and I would never go back and choose to do it any other way, the bit you don’t read about is the sometimes scary, sometimes vulnerable situations you might find yourself in. You expect them, I mean you’re on foreign territory all by yourself, but there’s no real way of preparing yourself for them other than going through the experience and learning from it.

Now I’m not trying to paint an unsafe picture of the places I have visited so far. These are situations that I have been in and have felt scared because I was on my own, not because anything terrible actually happened. 

My first moment of ‘I’m in trouble here’ was a story I started but didn’t actually finish in my Woman Vs Grasshopper post. The airport taxi ride in Lombok. As mentioned, the taxi driver didn’t know a word of English. Trying to navigate him to the jungle I wondered how we’d ever find our way. He kept asking me if I was married and whether I wanted an Asian boyfriend, his only English vocabulary it seems (which I later learn is a common, completely everyday question here). An hour into the journey he pulls over at the mosque and disappears for 10 minutes to pray. Not a tourist in sight, in the middle of nowhere, pitch black out, all my life belongings with me…I honestly felt like I was about to be ambushed. I came prepared: money belt, 2 credit cards, 2 torches (you never know), yet I had been complacent and had thrown it all into my backpack. I felt as small as a mouse and seriously out of my depth. Do I get out and run?? 10 minutes felt like an hour and when the driver returned he was so grateful of my patience and understanding, I actually felt guilty for my assumptions. It was a wake up call though, as innocent as it was. 

Lesson 1: Don’t just plan to be safe, put it into practice! Never carry all of your essentials in one place. 

My return to Lombok, this time in Kuta, accommodation was somewhat more of the travelly kind. A window that doesn’t close, no flush on the toilet, towels that quite possibly hadn’t been washed since the 70s, I lived in a hut. Happily I’ll add. But security of the room wasn’t exactly up to UK standards. Early hours of one morning I hear a bit of commotion outside. I turn over to see a hand slipping through my window reaching to unlock my door. I was watching the entire show! Wondering whether I was dreaming this, I gave it a minute (whilst said hand struggled to reach the hanging key). Now that I was sure I was awake and possibly about to be burgled I simply asked the lady if I could be of assistance?

The following morning I learn that she is the owner’s daughter, so perhaps there’s an innocent explanation…but it did make me stop and think. 

Lesson 2: Don’t just accept a lack of security. If your window doesn’t close, don’t leave your door key hanging in the lock right next to it Christine! Sleep with your essentials under your pillow if you have to.

Whilst a secluded beach is a dream to relax on, being solo and completely secluded isn’t always the best idea. This one may sound silly and was purely my imagination running wild. A local selling fresh pineapple was being so persistent that when I said ‘no thank you’ he told me he’d be by later for when I was ready to buy one. Not one to be bullied into eating fruit I gracefully declined all day. There I was, chilling on pure white sand, listening to my music, when a great big shadow was cast over my face. I peek one eye open to see said pineapple man standing over me waving his machete because I’m ready for my pineapple now yes! Now I know what the machete was for, but I couldn’t help feeling a little frightened and intimidated in that moment. 

Lesson 3: Just buy the fruit…no wait that’s not it…don’t be anywhere too secluded. Know where your fellow tourists are hanging out. 

My best daily tactical advice I can offer is to be your most polite and gracious self at all times. Talk back to people, show humility, take an interest, ask about their family. So when a situation starts to feel a little uneasy your shift in attitude doesn’t make you just another rude tourist. You’re a human being too that is now being made to feel uncomfortable. Whilst I thought I was always fiercely independent I’ve never really had to put it into practice to this extent. Relying on me, myself and I has so far been a learning curve. 

Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation abroad? Feel free to share, like, comment, show some love X